how to?

So I'm honest... sometimes too much so, but its me. Which frankly it feels like I am the sole person alive who thinks the same.

In trying to find some way of dealing with the pain I'm going through & trying to spend my time proactively planning what I should do next rather than letting my mind wander & end up bawling for the millionth time, I have discovered that there is a TON OF CRAP advice online!

Like "On the other hand if there was still some hope that you could get back to the old person then do your best to restore this relation,this would be a good idea since he may have really been the best match for you.

One final thing, know that if there was a best match, that doesn’t mean that he will be the one, It’s only the best match that you have found and not the best match that does exist, there may be still out there a better match but you just didn’t happen to meet him." REALLY?? Thanks that helps... he might have been the best match & you should chase after him like crazy! Jeez I feel much better now.

Argh.

Is there really anyway to actually feel better? I mean I have been through break ups before, but dang it hurts. Especially thinking I wasted the past few years & now have to start dating again at 31. I was so glad to be over that whole scene. I know, don't count your diamonds before they are slipped on your finger, but we had picked out designs! Plus he keeps saying he wants to be friends & not lose the closeness. HUH? So its JUST the RELIGION? Argh!!!

Not that I have any desire to date again. So do I just give up on the dreams? Just live my life solo with the birds. Resolve to just be.

Part of me wants to cry nonstop, part of me wants to deck him, part of me wants to get him in a straight jacket & part of me wants one for myself!

What's a girl to do?

Cookie cutter

Play mindless games online. Sometimes all you can do is pass time reminding yourself to breath & hope that as the minutes tick on, then the pain will go away.

Turning 100

So this is my official 100th post of the blog.

My night started off with the intent of ordering a pizza for dinner, but alas, other things happened & I skipped the pizza.

Still I found this & it actually made me laugh & since its 100 ways, just seemed fitting.

100 Ways to Order a Pizza

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRAINIAN, and PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . .". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say, "Are you sure this is Pizza Place? When they say yes, say, "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, Pizza Place, start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say, "What would you like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout, "I'm through with (wo)men! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say, "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say, "I said, 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you're given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say, "Will that be all?"--snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If (s)he suggests a side order, ask why (s)he is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your time of day wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
100. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

---

Author unknown (to me).

The World in 100

We truly have so many, many reasons to be thankful in life.



Just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the little things, that really aren't so little in the grand scheme of things.

Animal "Rights"?

Ok. I gave everyone a game yesterday, but today I have a heavy heart. This animal bill has me in turmoil to think that so many lives & hearts will be effected.

I am getting the word out anyway I can. I wrote the local news channels to question why there is NOTHING regarding HR669 anywhere on the radar. I have written multiple times to my representative. I continue to urge others to do so. What else can a gal do?

Today I had a member of the local bird club, which meets today, email me this video on a NC specific bill. Its an eye opener.



Its over an hour long, but I think it has changed the way I think.

I am certainly considering myself an animal WELFARE activist rather than for animal rights. I am sicked by what others in the name of animals have done.

Sure I have a few hours to kill

Oh no... another random time zapping game.

Roly Poly Cannon

Pets make me smile

Today's site just made me laugh. Gotta love pictures & inspiration.


& now for a joke...

Never talk to the parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rottweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"

(From here)

Exciting

Alright today was my lucky day.

Thankfully I didn't react quite like that lady! But I did win big in my eyes. I left work at lunch & was going to treat myself to a Chic-fil-a combo. Got there, went to the bathroom washed my hands, went to get in line & saw a few people doing the "I was here first" eye/body language show down. Waited it out & then when it was my turn in line I ordered.

The young girl got a strange look on her face & backed away from the computer. I thought what now. GRRRRReat. She made her hands into two circles & tapped them together. The manager went to the back & when he came back he whispered to a couple of co-workers. I began to wonder if I looked like some local thief or something. An older lady brought out a cow bell. Now things were REALLY getting odd. She began ringing it & they all started cheering....at me. um...thanks, but why?

The cashier told me I could put the debit card away since my meal was on the house. Seems I was the 100th customer!

So I won!

Woooooo whoooooo!

.....now where's Bob Barker to hug? ;)

Yes, Life is Funny!

Your place or Mine? Wait its OURS!

Tomorrow, April 22, is Earth Day.

Which means today's site is all about things you can do to help the environment.

Feel like telling me ideas on how you can help do your/our part?

Currently I use a reusable metal water bottle, a canvas lunch bag, reusable bags (but admit I do take some plastic & reuse them in cleaning up the bird cages & as bathroom trash can liners). I have now switched ALL lights in the house to CFL bulbs & use rechargeable batteries - there are still some old ones we are using up but any new ones are rechargeable! The out door path lights are solar powered & half don't work at night. I use any water that the birds, dog or I don't drink to water the plants. We got a French press coffee maker instead of an electric one this year. I recycle as much as I can in regards to house hold waste.

I feel like I am forgetting something. For me its more than just wearing the Its Easy Being Green Kermit Tee & carrying the Target Red Tote bag, its doing what we can to help conserve energy & clean up this place. Where else are we going to live? :)

Any other ideas?

Shake a tail feather

Just good clean fun...



go ahead, you know you wanna dance too!

The Old Place

A bit of fun today...

The health food cooperative that I worked at for so long & quit last week is in a contest & finally posted the video we made online.

The goal was to show how your co-op rocks....we went for the zany MTV Cribs style & just had fun with it.




Burgos & I are in the audience in the training video scene.

NO to HR669

So today's post is a plea for action.

There is a bill in congress right now that could ban any non-native species. This means that if you have pets that wouldn't naturally be found on US soil, you could be fined/imprisoned for buying, selling, breeding or transporting them across state lines!

Tell the fish in my aquarium not to breed because I can't afford the fine?! riiiiiight.

Want more info? So would I.



Check out the information & then decide for yourself.

I for one already have emailed my state representative & plan to continue to do so. I love my birds, fish & dog way too much to let this pass. Its just wrong. What next? Ship off all non-native people, we are animals too.

Legislation likes this makes me want to jump this ship anyhow! Argh!

Some links mentioned in the video above:

Pijac - Pet Industry Joint Advisory Council

& most importantly:
www.nohr669.com

Another great link is to Govit, where you can make your voice hear through an online voting, but you still should send your opinion to your representatives! You can do both at this site.

Honoring our Animals

So today back in 1866, the American Society for the prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) started up. Perfect lil fact for the day.


I took the new guy in my life, Bijou, in to the vet to get his check up & everything is looking great.

So in honor of all animals great & small, furred, feathered, finned, scaled, whatever, I wanted to have today's link be to the Animal Rescue Site.

Every time you click on their box (at the website), sponsors donate food & care to animal shelters. 100% of the money goes to the charities & you can click the links daily (as a bonus there are tabs where you can click daily to help with other causes like breast cancer, literacy, etc.).

Kung POW Chicken

So yeah... more bird stuff. I'm just stuck in this mind set & loving it.

So today I bring you a game, Chicken Table Hockey!

Enjoy... & nope I can't read the text either, but I had a blast playing.

Its my last day!

So today was my final day at the job & my head had so much going on I didn't even have time to think of any last day office pranks... BUT I did get a chuckle out of seeing these office pranks!

Best Office Pranks of All Time!

Birds - beautiful comedians

So lately I am unable to get birds off my mind, which I don't mind. They are so funny. Such innocence....yet such chaos!




Check out the Bird Hot Line. A website where people can share bird stories. I dare you to read a few without laughing. I got the giggles early on. Full out had to laugh when I got to number 96:

" (96) Milo seems to always know exactly what she is saying.

My Blue and Gold Macaw Milo seems to ALWAYS know exactly what she is saying. She has proved this several times. Once, when we were walking down the street, a little girl came running up to me and asked me if the bird on my shoulder was real. Before I could reply, Milo said "What's that?" I answered her with, "it's a little girl Milo." Milo said "mm...food." I said "no no, we don't eat little girls." Milo said "Oh, bad bird!" and laughed. One of Milo's favorite games is to chase the cats. She climbs down the cage and races after them with "Cmere...C'mere! C'mere kitty kitty, heeerree kitty kitty" and laughs. They know not to come to her, but she knows exactly what they are.

My all time favorite was when my friend taught Milo a phrase secretively. And I mean, SECRETIVELY! I had no idea Milo learned it, she was perfectly quiet about saying it around me. Well my father comes to visit one night and sleeps on the couch. Oh...around 3 in the morning we'll say, he's awakened with the very quiet whisper .. "I see dead people" and a psychotic laugh. I could not get him to spend the night at my house again if my life depended on it!"

Also be sure to check out other Funny things in Life at Wendy's Weight...What?! blog.

Eggsellent

So I'm enjoying a relaxing day & just thinking how I think this is one of the rare years where I didn't dye any Easter eggs with the family. So no technicolored egg salad later!

Still I miss the fun of decorating the eggs.

Which lead me to today's site, with all the eggs you can handle! & some people who have WAY more time on their hands, & a steadier hand, than I do!

Fortunate Ones

So in reading Wendy's blog (Weight...What?), I decided to copy cat & do the Unfortunate Google trick. Basically you just google "Unfortunately {your name goes here}". Be sure to add the quotes. Google likes the quotes. :) So what did I end up with? Lotsa unfortunate things....

Unfortunately, Alison lost when Chris lied tht on the day of Alison's dismissal

Unfortunately, Alison's plan resulted Katie and Mike having an argument

Unfortunately, Alison doesn't really have much of a clue how to go about solving

Unfortunately, Alison's source for this information is decidedly weird.

Unfortunately, Alison doesn't know the first thing about cars

Unfortunately Alison showed little talent in this area

ok so I am of the opinion that you should focus on what you want. I don't want to be unfortunate, I want to be fortunate! So in response (counter balance...) to all that misfortune:

Fortunately, Alison's decision on how to go about her career was made for her,

Fortunately, Alison is a witch

Fortunately Alison has graced my life with her creative presence & raw honesty.

Fortunately, Alison's mission, her song of peace, her vision of helping others

Fortunately Alison and I can chat away like anything.

Fortunately Alison realized my mistake and called me back to warn me.

Fortunately, Alison and Hannah have volunteered to help organize the costumes

Fortunately, Alison has taken over

Fortunately, Alison has more to say

Fortunately, Alison has a better handle on this one than I do.

yeah. I think I like the postives better than the negatives. :) So for a link. A virtual fortune cookie! Crack it on open & see what your future holds!

Funny Bunny

Ok so today's site is a TOTAL waste of time....but has been fun for me in a throw back to childhood way!

Also since today kicks off my 5 days off work staycation, it makes sense to stay in my PJs & just play dress up online. (No worries, I promise to get dressed prior to having lunch out with a friend who JUST got engaged last night!!!)

Who do you want to dress up? You have tons of choices at Dress Up Who. There is even a bunny which seems particularly timely right about now.

So yeah, goof off a little. Kick of the shoes & relax. Remember how fun it was just to see the potentials of outfits on random people/things.

Enjoy a whole lotta nothing. I know I will be! ;)

One foot in front of the other

OK... so its been a while. Life gets hectic, especially in those transition times. But its time to get back on track! Which is perfect for today's site!

It is National Start Walking Day! Join the American Heart Association in taking the first step to heart health & physical fitness. You deserve it.

So sign up, break out the sneakers & start stepping.

I will be!